5 Simple Ways to Survive as a Mom When You Wake Up Exhausted

You know those mornings when you wake up and the thought of getting out of bed makes you want to cry?

You can’t even imagine how you are going to keep it together until bedtime. Which is still 12 hours away!

Maybe your baby was up all night, crying for Mama and you gave him your all. You rocked and shushed and nursed until finally the night ended. You won the night battle but now the day begins.

You are exhausted before you even enter the day.

Or was it one of those nights? Where everybody slept soundly, the house was quiet and peaceful. And you stared at the ceiling in the dark for 4 hours? Cursing your inability to fall asleep and dreading each minute that brought you closer to morning.

Around and around your brain goes.

Chasing invisible enemies and to-do lists and it JUST WON’T STOP!

Dang you brain! I just need to sleep!

But you didn’t.

The light pushes through the window and your sweet little one pulls on your hand “Mama up!”

Your eyelids are so heavy that it hurts to keep them up. Your brain is in such a fog you stare blankly at the Keurig willing it to magically make you a cup.

How are you going to do this?

Because you will.

You will survive.

It’s what we do.

But what if I told you there are 5 things you can do to make your day just a little bit easier? Seriously, just a little easier.

Today will be hard. Doing anything while exhausted is hard.

But you can start taking little baby steps to make tomorrow better. And one day you are going to go from surviving to thriving.

Start here.

1. Breath In and Breath Out

Remember in Sleepless in Seattle with Tom Hanks when his character is talking on the phone with the radio talk show host?

She asks him what he is going to do, how is he going to survive after the loss of his wife. How is he going to keep on going now?

That’s how you get through your day. You breathe in and out all day long.

Before you get out of bed. Or start bathtime. Or try to figure out what to eat or feed the troops.

Just stop.

Even if they are all screaming at you. 1 minute won’t hurt anybody.

Take a deep breath in through your nose for 4 seconds.

Stop. Hold your breath for 7 seconds.

Through pursed lips (like you are blowing on that hot plate of food once again!) blow your breath out for 8 seconds. Relax your face, your neck, your shoulders.

Do it a couple more times. 4 or 5 times. Breath in. Hold. Breath out.

Then you get out of bed and you do one thing.

(Hey, you get back here! Don’t you dare go and watch Sleepless in Seattle now! That’s for later, when the kids are sleeping. That will be your reward for surviving the day.)

2.The One Thing You Need to Do the Night Before

Today you are going to survive. Whatever you usually do to get through the day. You do it.

But you are going to do One Thing today to make tomorrow better.

Just one thing. You can do one thing, right? It can be little. It can be itty-bitty teeny.

How about decide what you are going to have for breakfast and set out what you need. It’s little but in the morning when your brain isn’t functioning, you will all eat without thinking about it.

Or, if you are an energetic and crazy bunny, load the dishwasher and run it. In the morning, clean dishes. You’re welcome.

Just choose one thing. Big or small that you will do tonight to make tomorrow better.

Something that you can DO. Not “I will be nicer” or “I will eat better”. That’s not a do, that’s an airy-fairy dream that will just make you feel bad by the end of the day.

Write it down. Say it out loud (the kids already think you are crazy!). Send yourself a text saying “I will….”

Then before you sit down to watch the first 3 minutes of Sleepless in Seattle, in that 2 second gap of “free time” before you get interrupted.

Do the One Thing.

Or set up the One Thing so it is ready for tomorrow.

3.The Simple Secret to Surviving

Honey girl, listen up. Our culture of parenting is messed up. It is. The society that surrounds us and the expectations of parenting are overwhelming.

There was once a time and a place where our society and culture surrounded parents with routines, rituals and traditions that made their lives easier.

All the families in Provence, France would close down shop and stop what they are doing to eat the midday meal together. You wouldn’t think about whether you would do it, you just did.

Routines will get you through a day when you have no energy. Society isn’t giving you routines for your day so you get to invent your own.

Start small. Really small. Writing up a detailed schedule of what you will do each day (especially when you have young children!) is as productive as trying to hammer Jell-o to a tree.

It just won’t work!

You’ll end up with a mess. And somebody crying about wasted Jell-o.

Start a Routine

A routine is as simple as “we do this and then we do that.”

Look at something you will always do every day. I always eat breakfast. Seriously, I never skip breakfast no matter what.

My routine is that while I am getting my breakfast, waiting for the water to boil for my tea. I empty the dishwasher. Every morning. I don’t even need to think about it. It just happens.

I have never regretted that routine but I hate the days when I let it slide and then all day I am trying to find a minute to empty the dishwasher and the Mountain of Dishes overwhelms me.

What is something you will always do? Brush your teeth? Check your phone?

Just add a task to what you are doing. Do it before if you need to be motivated.

For example always clear the table before you check your phone after lunch.

It will take you 21 days to form a habit. Once it is habit, your brain relaxes and you don’t have to think about it. It becomes autopilot.

Autopilot is almost as good as having a maid.

Get this:

Routines create happier, more well adjusted kids. Kids love to know what is going on, when you have a steady routine this affects your child and behavior problems often decrease.

4.Listen To Your Mother

My mother used to say “Nothing good happens after midnight.” Which was code for us to all skedaddle off to bed.

Going to bed earlier rather than later will help you survive. I’m sorry my fellow night owl Mamas. This is true. For now you just got to take the lumps. You got to go to bed.

I know this is your only time to revel in the quiet or eat uninterrupted or talk to your partner. But you got to get your butt in bed.

Because how many times have you said (at your early morning wake-up) “I shouldn’t have stayed up so late”?

You know it. Make it happen. Research shows that sleep before midnight is more healing and restorative for our bodies. Take advantage of that magic!

5.The Most Powerful Way to Get More Energy

You know how your brain is so exhausted? That the thought of making supper at the end of the day makes you want to cry?

Your brain actually is done. This response is called Decision Fatigue and has been documented in a study by Roy Baumeister.

Decision Fatigue means your brain can only handle so many decisions in a day. After you reach your limit, you either don’t care or you make reckless and impulsive decisions. Like eat a whole bag of Oreos.

Save your brain! Get rid of decisions!

I’m serious. You make about 400 decisions before lunch.

• What to eat for breakfast
• what to wear
• what to feed the baby
• change the diaper now or after I start the coffee
• where did I put my shoes
• should I let her pull everything out of that drawer

To decrease your decisions make the choice to limit your choices.

Once upon a time families ate the same meals most days and wore the same clothes everyday. Only if you were wealthy and had a French chef and a lady’s maid did you have the luxury of so many choices.

My French chef is on vacay and my lady’s maid quit….7 years ago. I don’t have that luxury of fancy meals and complicated wardrobes.

You will save millions of neurons if you become boring and predictable. Thursday is chicken for supper, Friday is soup. No thought required.

Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Albert Einstein and Barack Obama all adopted a “uniform” to wear everyday. Obama was quoted by Vanity Fair as saying

• “I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.”

Do this for your kids too. Fewer toys equals fewer clean ups. Fewer clothes equals less laundry. Fewer choices equals less fights. And kids like to eat the same thing everyday. Embrace that!

Obama again was quoted to say:

• “You need to focus your decision-making energy. You need to routinize yourself. You can’t be going through the day distracted by trivia.”

Variety is for people with the luxury of French chefs and lady’s maids.

Now Start

Well exhausted Mama, I wish that tomorrow will be better for you. That the fog of exhaustion will lift and you will feel like you are thriving in your days and not just surviving.

But it is okay to be exhausted today. And you will survive. Just take those itty-bitty baby steps.

Take a deep breath.

Do your One Thing today to make tomorrow better.

Add one routine to something you already do.

Go to bed.

Limit your choices.

You’ll survive today. It’s what we do. It can get better and you can choose small steps to make tomorrow easier. Are you ready to try?